


I've Just Seen a Face

by ohbullship



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2018-01-07 09:58:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1118539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohbullship/pseuds/ohbullship
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He and Lou were close. Very close. And sometimes when they talked, his stomach jumped. And when they got close, his heart rate would escalate. He liked when Louis would protect him. He liked the way that he felt safe. He liked that someone knew his favourite restaurant and even his favourite item on the menu. He liked that someone wanted him to go with them to their family Christmas just so he didn’t have to spend the holiday alone. </p><p> </p><p>a/n: this kind of just came to me and its a lot of fluff, i dont know! feedback would be excellent though! also, any mistakes are my own and blah blah blah, enjoy! xx</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Just Seen a Face

         Harry was rummaging through the laundry and folding the clothes before separating them into two piles—one for himself and one for Louis. Every Sunday was laundry day in the dorm but somehow Harry always ended up being the one to do it. Not that he minded, in fact, he brought it on himself being the perfectionist that he was. Everything had to be folded a specific way and washed with the correct colors. He would settle for nothing less. So he didn’t mind doing the laundry except lately he had been swamped with schoolwork and studying for exams. He pulled out a Black Rolling Stones t-shirt and looked at it skeptically for a few minutes before giving up and deciding he had no idea if it was his or Louis’s anymore. He was sure that he had worn it last but he couldn’t remember if he took it from Lou’s drawer or not.

            “Hey, Lou?” Harry peeked his head around the corner of the hall to look at Louis sitting comfortably on the couch tuning his guitar.

            “Yeah?” Louis hummed.

            “Is this yours or mine?” his lanky arms held the shirt out and Louis’ blue eyes stared at it put he just shrugged in response.

            “Dunno, mate, s’pose we can add it to the closet.”

            Harry smiled as he walked to the tiny hall closet. The second shelf full of shirts and beanies that they shared or lost track of who it had originally belonged to over time.

            Sundays were normally lazy days but with it being the weekend before midterms, Harry was swamped. He was sprawled across the living room floor with his head in his hands deciding whether he should study for math or science next while Louis sat and played his guitar. During their first year together, it had nearly driven Harry nuts the way that Louis never studied and was always catching up on his programs or playing guitar, but now, the middle of their second year together,  Harry was used to it and even enjoyed listening to Louis play guitar. Though it still drove him nuts that Louis’s goal was just to become a musician and he hardly did any schoolwork, Harry had faith in Louis’s dream coming true. Harry begged Louis to try and perform in front of a bigger audience but Louis had just waved him off telling him that he wasn’t good enough. And though Harry disagreed, he had learned not to argue with his roommate over this particular topic anymore.

            “Tough exams coming up, Curly?” Louis had asked while Harry was writing a paper on World War II—a topic which was much too broad and much too hard to condense into the eight page maximum.

            “Yeah. Big paper due tomorrow.”

            “How far are you?”

            “Just the third page.”

            “Run it by Liam tomorrow, he’ll edit it for you if you’d like.”

            “Yeah, yeah.” And then Louis resumed playing his guitar and left Harry with the peace of the soft chords echoing off the walls as he typed his paper until both their stomachs were growling.

            “I’ll get some takeout.” Louis said standing up. He ruffled the curly head of his roommate’s hair before walking to the door. “Work on that until I get back then you need to sleep.”

            “No time for sleep.”

            “You haven’t slept in days, Haz.” Louis knew that Harry was stressed and hoped that takeout and a good film would relax him a bit—at least enough to get a proper amount of sleep.

            On the way back from their favourite Chinese place, Lou was carrying two bags full of basically everything on the menu—and extra Kung Pow Chicken because that was Harry’s favourite—when he bumped into Niall.

            “Havin a party that I wasn’t invited to, Lou?” Niall laughed as he motioned to the takeout.

            “Hazza’s stressed, thought I’d get him a proper meal.” Ni smirked at him and Louis rolled his eyes. The lads always poked fun at Harry and Louis for being close. The roommates saw no problem with their relationship; they were just really close best friends. They got on really well. That’s all. “Piss off.” Louis muttered. Niall just laughed and gave Louis another shit eating grin before turning away,

            “See you later, Lou.”

            “New Year’s Eve at yours, yeah?”

            “See you then.” Ni confirmed before just his footsteps were left in the snow.

            And then Louis was opening the door to the dorm. Harry was still spread flat on the living room carpet with his nose nearly lying on his keyboard. He looked so tired and worn out. Louis thought he worked too hard.

            “Hey, Curly, I’m home. Put the work away, I’ve got your favourite.” Louis said as he hung his keys on the hook by the fridge.

            “I gotta finish this first.”

            “You need to eat and sleep first.”

            “No I don’t. This is due tomorrow.”

            “Maslow’s theory would insist that your basic needs are more important.” Harry rolled his eyes but shut his computer none the less (after saving and double saving) and joined Louis on the couch and grabbed the container of Kung Pow off the coffee table. “How far are you now?”

            “Page seven.”

            “You only have to write eight.”

            “Yeah but I need to go over it.”

            “Finish in the morning. Your first class doesn’t start until one thirty anyways.” Harry sighed but after a few more bites he decided that Lou was right about him needing a break. They ate in silence and when they were done Louis threw a pillow and blanket onto the couch and pulled it out into a bed, put the food away, and popped  _Ice Age_  into the DVD player because it was Harry’s favourite and could make him laugh no matter what.

            Harry still looked worried and Louis hated the crease in his forehead so he had to get rid of it. The older boy sprung onto the younger one and shook him. “Relax!” a dimple popped out on the left side of his face and a smile reached his green eyes and Louis felt pride well up in his chest for making Harry smile since he hadn’t done much of that lately.

            Louis unfolded himself from Harry and sat on his own side of the pull-out couch as they watched the movie on the screen in front of them. Halfway through it there was no longer a trace of worry on the younger boy’s face. Instead, it was replaced by a dimpled smile and soft giggles at the child-like movie. The two were now not on their separate sides of the bed, in fact, Harry was nearly lying on top of Louis. He could feel the way Harry’s stomach contracted every time he laughed and there was such little space between them that their legs  _had_  to be entwined.

            When the movie was over and both boys were nearly asleep, Louis flicked off the tele leaving them in total darkness. They were exhausted, well fed, and warm so sleep was rather inviting. Harry wanted nothing more than to hear Louis sing but knew he wouldn’t. Louis never sang. Harry didn’t know why exactly other than Louis saying that he was pitiful but Harry had known otherwise. He had heard Louis sing while he was in the shower or getting ready in the mornings or when cooking breakfast. He thought he was extraordinary. But every time Louis saw Harry and knew he was listening, he stopped.

            “Hey Lou,”    

            “Hmm?” Louis was tired but Harry hadn’t slept in two days due to studying and Louis would run a marathon if that’s what Harry wanted.

            “You should sing sometime. At a pub or something.” Except that. Louis would do anything for Harry. But he wouldn’t sing.

            “I don’t sing, Hazza.” Harry was feeling extra brave tonight so he took a deep breath and rolled his eyes even though they were closed.

            “Like hell you don’t. That’s rubbish and you and I both know it.” Louis was made for a stage. When he walked into a room, everyone just kind of stopped and looked at him because he was the star of the show.

            “I just don’t, okay?” And that was the end of Harry’s courage for tonight. He hated fighting with Louis in general and he knew that if they fought now, Louis would stomp off into his own bedroom and Harry was damn comfortable just where he was.

            “Okay. Sorry.” It came out like a whisper but they both heard it and unclenched their tense muscles.

-

            Exams had finished up and Harry was pleased with his scores. Louis was pleased that Harry could finally sit down and watch television with him all day or go out to the pubs at night. Winter holiday had begun just a few days ago and the two boys spent the start of their break lounging around the dorm eating all of their food and watching scary movies. But the scary movies weren’t actually that scary—mostly they just liked to make fun of how awful they were. Louis was going home to Doncaster tomorrow which would leave Harry alone all through Christmas since his mum is always away on ‘business’ during this time of year. He didn’t mind being alone most of the time but since nearly everyone would be back home and he would spend the next week and a half alone in a dorm room, he wished he had somewhere to go.

            Harry turned on some music—an Indie band that Louis wasn’t very fond of but Harry fancied quite a bit—while Louis packed. “Don’t forget the Christmas jumper I bought for you.” Harry said rummaging through Louis’s dresser drawers. He dug through three before he found the red jumper with white reindeer. Harry had a bright, white smile that Louis couldn’t help but return. He took the sweater from his mate.

            “I ‘ould never.” Harry’s smile only stretched wider.

            “And bring me some Christmas ham.”

            “Harry, how would you feel about coming with?” Louis was giving him a hopeful smile and Harry wanted desperately to say yes. He didn’t want to be alone on Christmas and he’d miss Lou and he also wanted to meet Louis’s mum and sisters since he’s always hearing stories about them.

            “No, it’s a family thing, I couldn’t.”

            “My mum won’t mind, swear on it. And I’ll tell her that I wanted you there for my birthday.” The blue eyes seared into the green until the younger boy gave in.

            “Eh, alright.” Louis slapped an arm over Harry’s shoulder and Harry let out a giggle.

            They packed while still listening to the Indie band Harry put on—Louis didn’t even find it annoying anymore, in fact, he quite enjoyed it. He enjoyed almost everything with Harry. Louis was happy as long as Harry didn’t have to spend Christmas alone eating takeout on the floor of their sitting area. Now he wouldn’t be. And better yet, he’d be with Louis.

-

            The snow was really coming down now as they drove the three hours to Doncaster. Harry sang along to the lyrics of each song on the radio but Louis either just listened intently or hummed along. They drove through the town that Louis had grown up in and Harry was asking questions about everything like a kid in a zoo. Anything from ‘Is that your old school?’ to ‘How old is that church?’. Louis tried to answer all of them but he just kept spitting out more and, if he was being honest, he was a bit annoyed and out of breath by the time they pulled into the long driveway.

            When they stopped, Harry stared at the cottage-like house. He thought it was the most magnificent place he’d ever been. It had Christmas lights wrapped around the trees and a lot of windows which were glowing from the light inside. It wasn’t huge, but it sure looked pretty damn cozy. He shut the door gently as he stepped out and walked to the boot of the car waiting for Louis to pop it open but when he looked up, Louis was giving him a toothy grin.

            “Let’s go inside and have a cuppa to warm up first.” Harry just smiled and followed Lou’s footprints up to the front steps of the big, wrap-around porch. When they walked inside, they heard the laughter of Louis’s mum and sisters and the whole house smelled like gingerbread. Within the first two seconds of the door shutting, footsteps came thundering down the halls where two twins appeared on either side of Louis, hugging him and him hugging back. Harry knew how close Louis was with his sisters, how much he cared for them. He loved them more than anything in the whole world. When Lou’s father passed away, Louis had to become the man. He had to be head of the household. The twins were nearly three—making Fizzy about seven and Lottie nine—and he had to do whatever it took. He pushed away the pain and had no time for mourning. He went out and got a job. He helped his mum with the cooking—he wasn’t very good but he knew his way around the grocery store—and he raised all four of those girls while taking care of his mum. He kissed each of their heads and called for his mother in the kitchen. “Mum! Brought you a surprise!” they heard a pot being set down and feet shuffling in the other room as Jay finished what she was doing.

            Harry could have hit him right then. How did he forget to tell her that he was bringing Harry? Now he really would be intruding and he couldn’t do that.

            “How did you not tell them I was coming?” Harry said getting ready to slap Louis—figuratively speaking, of course, because he’d never be able to hurt him.

            “Slipped my mind I guess.” Louis said with a cheeky little grin. Harry raised his arm but just then, Lou’s mum—dressed in an apron covered in sauce of some sort—came around the corner.

            “Louis, dear, you know the rules, boots off.” She sighted but as soon as she noticed Harry she smiled brightly. “Hello! I’m Louis’s mum. And you are?” Harry held out his sweaty hand—which should be freezing considering it was the middle of winter but was sweating bullets—to shake but she just pulled him into a hug which made Louis laugh as he tossed his shoes into the bin next to the door.

            “Okay, my turn.” Louis said as he pulled his mum in for a tight hug. He’d missed her while he was at UNI—though he’d never admit that, especially not to Harry—sometimes a boy just needed his mummy. She hugged him firmly but when she pulled away she frowned. She proceeded, then, to whack the back of Louis’s head which caused Harry to have to pretend to cough to avoid laughter. “Ow! What was that for?”

            “Tell me when you’re bringing someone next time so I can set the table properly!” Louis rubbed the back of his head and his mum laughed and kissed his forehead. “Dinner’s nearly ready, go wash up. Phoebe, add another setting at the table for…what’s your name sweetums?”

            “Harry.” He said quietly. 

            “The infamous Harry?”

            “Mum.” Louis whined. Harry’s cheeks felt hot but he hoped they weren’t as red as they felt.

            “Right. After you wash up, get Lottie and Fiz, they’re in their room.”

            Louis led the way to the washroom on the first floor which was painted a light shade of blue and smelled faintly like the sea. Harry liked it. It was all nicely decorated and beautiful. After Harry was finished drying his hands, he went to follow Louis up the stairs to get the two eldest of his younger sisters but was stopped by one of the twins tugging at his shoulder. He bent down so he could hear the secret she was going to tell that was just loud enough for Louis to hear and both boys’ faces to turn scarlet.

            “Are you Louis’s boyfriend?”

            “Dais—“ Louis had started to complain about how it was none of her business and how she was only nine and had no place to be asking these things, but Harry cut him off,

            “No, just best mates.”

            “Good. You can do better than him anyway.” She giggled and Louis rolled his eyes.

            “I’ll have you know, I’m the complete package.” That had everyone laughing and once Daisy went back into the kitchen and they had reached the top of the stairs, Louis felt the need to apologize.

            “Sorry about them, they’re just young is all.”

            “I think they’re cute.” Louis smiled before opening the door to the teenage girls’ bedroom. They were watching some television program in the dark but the second they saw Louis, they jumped off the bed and wrapped their arms around him.

            “You’re home!” The one with the darker hair cooed.

            “I’m home.”

            “And he brought a friend.” The older one said, nudging her sister in the side.

            “Ah yes, this is Harry. Harry, this is Lottie,” he pointed to the older one with blond hair, “and this is Fizzy.” He pointed to the other and Harry smiled his little dimpled smile which had them both blushing. “Anyways,” Louis coughed after an awkward moment of silence and staring, “Mum says it’s time for dinner.”

            As they were seated at the table, Harry was introduced to everyone properly. Louis’s mum, Jay—as she would not allow someone whom was going to be sleeping in her home to call her Ms. Tomlinson—was a very nice and hardworking lady. She also made very good pasta. Harry hadn’t had food this delicious in a very long time. It felt like home. Next were the twins; Phoebe and Daisy. Phoebe was a little shyer and Daisy seemed to miss her brother the most out of all of the girls because she was talking his ear off nonstop. Fizzy seemed to be very funny and sarcastic and Harry thought that a lot of her reminded him of Louis. And Lottie seemed to be very protective and helpful which Harry figured came with the territory of being the oldest in the house.

            “Thank you Ms. Toml-“ Harry caught a raised eyebrow coming from Louis’s mum so he coughed and continued, “—Jay, it was honestly the best meal I’ve had in quite a while. Really good.” She smiled fondly at him as he scooted out of his chair and picked up all of the empty plates around the table.

            “Just set them on there, sweetheart, I’ll do the washing.”

            “Are you sure? I don’t mind. Really, it’s not a problem.”

            “It’s fine. Thank you.” as she walked around the table and grabbed all the glasses, she stopped behind Louis and gave him another smack to the back of his head.

            “What was that one for?! Jesus Christ woman you’re going to give me brain damage!” Louis was scratching at the back of his head and this time Harry let out a cackle.

            “How come  _you_  never offer to help?”

            “Because I don’t need to kiss up to you, you  _have_  to love me.” she laughed and gave him another kiss to the head.

            “Go show Harry around the rest of the house please. Make him feel at home.”

            They walked out of the kitchen and passed the living room and down a hallway.

            “This is the toilet. Unfortunately it doesn’t have a shower. The girls and I, we—uh—we share one bathroom upstairs.  Sorry.” Harry wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for. He didn’t mind. They continued the downstairs tour quickly. A door just before the stairs going up contained a set going down to a basement to which Louis had called ‘Fairy Hell’ because it was the girls’ playroom. Harry had laughed and then ran up the stairs. Louis was always up for a challenge so the two of them were racing up until Harry tripped over his extra-long legs and feel over the top step and Louis fell over him. They stayed there like that—Louis lying on top of Harry laughing like crazy until Fizzy came up the stairs gracefully and stopped next to them.

            “Oh for fuck’s sake get a room!”

            “Watch your language, Fiz.”

            “Use protection.” She gave a wicked smile before walking into her and Lottie’s room. Louis’s face matched the beet red of Harry’s.

            “I didn’t even know she knew that stuff.” Louis said embarrassed. Harry let out and awkward laugh and followed Louis as he stood up and continued the tour. “This one is mum’s room.” He pointed to the door next to Fizzy and Lottie’s room. “And you know that’s Lot’s and Fiz’s.” he walked across the wide hallway to the door across from Jay’s room and smiled as he opened it to find the twins playing—not with Barbies or anything like that, they were playing Mortal Kombat on an old Xbox. “They’re not your average nine year old girls.”

            “They’re much cooler.” Harry said and Louis had a proud smile etched across his cheeks.

            “I’ve taught them well.”

            “That you have.” They were standing idly in the hall in a sort of silence. “So do you have a living area or did they rent it to the nearby hobos?” Louis laughed and Harry smiled at his feet.

            “Right this way.” Louis said walking to the next door over.

            There was a bed with blue plaid duvet over it underneath the window with the drapes pulled closed. There were multiple shelves filled with football trophies—Harry now found it odd that Louis didn’t try out for their school’s team—and another couple filled with movies and CD’s. In the center of the room there was a navy blue couch in front of a small television. All of the walls were covered in cinema-like posters or drawings and Harry wondered if Lou had drawn them himself. “You have your choice for the couch or the bed. The couch pulls out.”

            “I’ll just take the couch.” Harry plopped himself down on it and shut his eyes but only to have a pillow chucked at his head.

            “If you think I’m carrying all your shit in, you’re wrong.”

-

            A few hours later, Lou and Harry’s bums were planted firmly on the pullout couch with the twins between them and a large blanket over all four of them. They were watching the  _Fox and the Hound_ which just happened to be Harry’s favourite as well as the twins’. Louis’s mum took the older girls out to finish up some last minute Christmas shopping and had decided it best to leave Phoebe and Daisy behind.

            “Pass the popcorn, you arse.” Harry said to Louis who threw a few pieces at Harry’s forehead before handing it over. Harry was stifling back tears—he’d always cried during this movie but didn’t want Lou or his sisters to see.

            “You’re blubbering.” Louis said with an overly dramatic laugh.

            “Am not.” Harry muttered under his breath which was hitched from the crying.

            “Yeah you are.” Phoebe had piped up from below Harry’s arm which made Daisy and Louis crack up and Harry to groan in embarrassment.

            “It’s a sad movie!” Harry’s defense had not worked and the others had laughed at him all the way until the credits were rolling.

            “Alright you two, off to bed.” Louis ushered the twins into their room despite their complaints about it being break.

            Harry pulled the covers over himself and snuggled his head into the pillow as he listened to the bedtime story Louis was telling the girls through the thin walls. He was talking about a prince who went away from college and had missed his family very much—especially the two youngest princesses who were gorgeous and intelligent—and how the prince had found someone that was always there for him…

            Harry had fallen asleep after that. He was thinking too much and when his brain buzzes like that, it tends to make him overly tired and just shut down all together.

             _“What’re you doing Hazza?” Louis had asked as Harry sat down in the snow._

_“Making snow angels.”_

_“You’re such a child.”_

_“Maybe. But once when I was little, my mum told me that if you made a snow angel, a real angel would grant you one wish.”_

_“Superstitious one you are, mate.” Harry just laughed and laid himself back as he began to move his arms and legs together and apart so it would make the outline of an angel into the sparkling white snow. But then he felt Louis on top of him and he looked up. Then Lou’s mouth latched onto his. They were warm and raw from the cold weather and they felt perfect against his own. The kiss made Harry dizzy but he wanted more. They rolled through the snow as the kiss got more passionate. The warmth of their bodies radiated off of them and began melting the snow as they rolled around tugging on each other’s hair. When they pulled apart Louis smiled at him and his eyes were shining in the bright light of the sun, he looked like an angel himself. “An angel sent me to grant your wish.”_

            Harry woke with a jolt and a very uncomfortable poke in his stomach from his morning wood. He had no idea what was going on. He didn’t know why he had dreamed of Louis’s lips against his own but the very thought of his lips sent a shudder down Harry’s spine. He moved himself quietly out of the bedroom and to the bathroom. As he wanked all he could think about was Louis. Louis’s hands. Louis’s mouth. Louis’s lips. His bum. Chest. Cock. Everything until he was cumming.

            He cleaned up and went back to the comfort of the pullout couch as it was only nearly six thirty. He didn’t want to think about it anymore but he couldn’t stop. Harry didn’t know if he was gay. He’d always found some blokes attractive but never thought much of it. He’d never developed feelings for any other guys before. But now that he thought about it, he never really felt too strongly about a lass before either. Maybe he was strictly Louis-sexual. He and Lou were close. Very close. And sometimes when they talked, his stomach jumped. And when they got close, his heart rate would escalate. He liked when Louis would protect him. He liked the way that he felt safe. He liked that someone knew his favourite restaurant and even his favourite item on the menu. He liked that someone wanted him to go with them to their family Christmas just so he didn’t have to spend the holiday alone. He liked that someone knew what movies to put on depending on his mood. And that someone could even tell what his mood was since he was the type of person to keep things bottled up. He liked that someone knew his course schedule and when his assignments were due—even better than himself and could remind him of what he had to work on or study. He liked that only Louis met these qualifications. He also quite liked Louis’s blue eyes or how he looked when he hadn’t shaved in a few days. He liked the shade of red he turned when he was embarrassed. So maybe—just maybe—he did like Louis. And maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing if he and Louis were dating. But the thoughts scared him all the same.

            He somehow managed to avoid Louis all through breakfast. He had sat between Lottie and Jay. Lottie kept talking to him and asking about him and school and Louis would answer a few questions himself which made Harry think more about the whole situation since he couldn’t believe that Louis had retained such unimportant facts.

            While they watched  _The Grinch_ , Harry had sat in the recliner so he could avoid sitting next to Louis. He didn’t know really why he was avoiding him. Maybe it was because every time Louis came close, Harry thought about his dream and every time he thought about his dream, his dick twitched in his jeans. He managed to avoid him all day until they were going to bed and Louis cuddled himself in next to Harry on the pullout couch.

            “It’s too cold underneath the window.” Louis had reasoned.

            “Oh.” Harry had said quietly because he couldn’t think of anything else to say. He tried to scoot himself as far away as the pullout allowed but Louis had noticed.

            “Did I do something?”

            “No.”

            “Why are you mad at me?” He wasn’t mad at him, he was simply trying to avoid falling in love with him but Harry couldn’t tell him that. And it wasn’t wrong to cuddle with Louis if he was the one insisting on it. So Harry snuggled himself closer to Louis like they do back at the dorm and whispered a quiet,

            “I’m not.” as he shut his eyes. Louis felt better now knowing that Harry wasn’t mad at him because if he hated anything in this world, it’d be when Harry was upset with him. He wrapped his arms around Harry and it grazed the bare skin of his hip making Harry aware of just how close they really were at the moment but neither of them really wanted to move. And in the morning they were still cuddling—for warmth only of course—with Harry’s long arm around Louis’s thin waist.

            Harry felt safe when Louis was there near him. And Harry’s mind was in a whirlwind because  _oh shit, he really liked Louis_  and _that’s wrong because Lou’s a boy_ and _what if Lou doesn’t like boys_ and _what if Louis doesn’t like Harry?_  Even though in that moment, all of that was kind of hard to believe considering the way Louis was tucked under Harry’s arm and their legs were tangled together under the covers.

            Harry unfolded himself from Louis and went downstairs to find Lottie with the twins making breakfast.

            “Morning Harry, would you like a cuppa?”

            “Yes, thanks.” His words were soft and Lottie smiled when she brought it to him. “Never was one for tea until I met Lou, now I drink it all the time.”

            “There’s nothing a cuppa can’t fix.” Lottie said sweetly. Harry had become familiar with the saying. Louis always said it. If Harry was having an off morning, “Nothing a cuppa can’t fix.” And when he’d gotten a bad mark “Nothing a cuppa can’t fix.” Louis always said it and he was always right.

            It was then when Harry realized how similar Lou and Lottie really were. They both were witty and charming in their own ways. They were indescribably beautiful. They were both protective and caring. And they were both braver than Harry has ever been. But Harry figured that once Louis left for UNI, someone had to take his place as head of the family. And Lottie was the next eldest. She had new responsibilities and less free time. And Harry thought how tough they were because they had to put being a child on hold for a while. Although, now that Harry thought about it, in some ways they are more childish than an actual child. And maybe that’s a good thing. They’ve been teaching their sisters not to grow up too quickly.

            “How do you like your eggs?” Daisy asked with the open carton in her hands.

            “Sunny side up.”

            “Okay, Lottie, all sunny side up.”

            “Louis likes his scrambled.” Harry just couldn’t help himself. He knew he shouldn’t correct the hosts but Harry knew for a fact that Louis only liked his scrambled because he liked to cover them in tabasco sauce. The girls just smiled at him and resumed their cooking. But soon a song came on the radio that reminded him of the old days. It was a song that he couldn’t help but dance to. He grabbed the twins and spun them each with a separate arm when Louis walked down and Harry was belting the lyrics

  _I’ve just seen a face, I can’t forget the time or place where we just met. She’s just the girl for me and I want all the world to see that we’ve met. MM-MM-MM-da-da-da_

            “Morning Lou.” Harry said still dancing with a twin on each foot. Louis’s navy blue shirt matched his plaid pajama bottoms and his hair was in disarray. And he specifically enjoyed Louis’s glasses because he hardly wore them even though they fit his face so well. Harry thought he looked best in the mornings.

            “Mornin, Sunshine!” Harry’s heart jumped at that but he kept dancing with the girls. “Unhand my sister.” Louis said pulling Daisy away from Harry. And she stood herself on top of Louis’ feet as he spun them around the kitchen and Harry did the same with Phoebe. Louis was humming—occasionally words were slipping out of his mouth and Harry soaked up as much of Louis’s singing as he could get.

            It was warm in the kitchen from the sun or the skillet or the dancing and they were happy and Harry really liked the way Louis’s hair was messy.

            Lottie insisted on sitting next to Harry during breakfast. She turned bright pink when he said that he liked what she had done with her hair the day before when they went to the barber. Harry didn’t think anything of it until he and Lou were playing footie in the garage and Louis said something about it.

            “Do you and Lottie have like a thing?” Harry’s mouth gaped open and he missed the ball Louis had passed and it crashed into a pile of boxes knocking them over.

            “No. What?”

            “Do you fancy her? It’s alright if you do, mate.” Harry wanted to say that the only Tomlinson he fancied was Louis but he didn’t.

            “No, I was just being nice.” Harry’s cheeks were flushed as Louis spoke,

            “Oh, well, she fancies you, mate.” Louis smirk widened and Harry watched his feet as he kicked the ball back and forth between them before finally passing it back to Louis and changing the topic to football.

-

            Louis’s birthday was approaching quickly. Harry wasn’t worried because he had bought Lou’s present months ago but now he needed to get a Christmas present as well—he’d thought he’d have all of break to pick out the perfect thing but now he was spending Christmas with him. And, well, he was fresh out of ideas. He’d already asked Lou’s mum and sisters but they’d all said the same things—movies, clothes, CDs—but he wanted to get him something different. Harry knew that Louis wanted a new gaming system but he hadn’t had the money for it and he’d spent a lot of money on his birthday present already. He knew that Louis wanted a new skateboard but that just didn’t seem thoughtful enough.

            They were walking along the street passing shop after shop but never going in—Louis was on a mission to get Harry the best pie he’d ever taste—and Harry could only look through the windows to find something. He was going to give up and just buy Louis something pointless when they passed a shop with the perfect gift in the window: an antique record player. Louis would love it and Harry had to buy it. But, of course, Louis was with him so it’d have to wait.

            The boys ducked in to a tiny diner on the corner. Louis steered them towards a booth in the back and sat on one side so Harry scooted himself into the other. They took off their coats and sat them beside them. When Harry picked up a menu, Louis swatted at it, but before Harry could protest, a young girl was standing next to their table asking for their order.

            “We’ll have a pumpkin pie and two hot chocolates please.” Louis said with a smile.

            “Course, Lou. Do you want extra whip cream as usual?”

            “Thought it was obvious.”

            “Shouldn’t have even had to ask.”

            “Thanks, Hannah.” Louis said with a wicked smile.

            “Good to see you, Louis.”

            “You too, babe.” He and Hannah had tried the whole dating thing but it was just always so awkward and they were much better friends. They still are.

            “She seems nice.”

            “Yeah. Yeah, Hannah’s great.”

            “You fancy her?”

            “No, no. We—uh—we dated for a bit. Nothing serious. We’re just better mates.”

            “Oh.” Harry felt awkward. He felt like he was trespassing on a part of Lou’s life that he was not invited into. And worse yet, Louis had dated a girl. He was straight. And that definitely rules out the whole relationship thing for him and Harry and now Harry had to get over this crush but the way that Louis’s feet kept rubbing against his under the table made that really hard to do.

            The pie was perhaps the best Harry had ever tried. It was moist and delicious and Louis seemed to revel in the fact that Harry thought it was the best pie he’d ever had.

            “My dad and I, we’d come here every year around this time to have pie and talk about things. Just me and him. Because being the only boys in a house of girls was difficult to do.” Harry smiled a bit as he took a sip of hot chocolate getting the whipped cream stuck in the dip above his lip. “You got a little..” Louis said dabbing his thumb on his tongue and wiping the cream off Harry’s lip which made Harry blush. “Anyway, my dad and I, we’d always come here and we always got the same thing and sat right here, in this very booth. And every year since he’s passed, I’ve come here. Alone of course, there was never anyone to bring. It was a guy thing.” That was really hard for Louis to say. And Harry understood that it was hard for Louis to say. He understood. And he was grateful that Louis trusted him enough to tell him. He was happy that Louis had chosen him—of all people—to bring to this special place.

            “Thanks, Lou.”

            “Thanks, Haz.” Louis smiled and took another piece of pie onto his plate. “Part of the tradition is that we have to finish the pie.” Harry groaned.

            “I’m full.”

            “You’ve got to. It would be disrespectful to me and my late father if you did not.” Harry rolled his eyes but took another piece of pie onto his plate and scarfed it down. He wondered how Louis managed to eat the whole thing himself but never questioned him on it.

            After eating the pie and sitting a while to let it digest, the boys decided to strap on some ice skates and play some pond hockey in the back yard. Louis’s sisters, of course, wanted to join. They were shit at it but they were having just as good of a time so they let them. Daisy and Phoebe were turning figure eights as they went across the pond and everyone was falling and laughing. They hardly noticed as the sun set. Jay had turned on the lights that wrapped around the trees outside and it was kind of like the whole yard was glowing as the lights reflected on the ice of the pond. Louis took a seat in the middle and just kind of looked around the yard and the home where he grew up.

            He thought about his father a bit. He passed around this time. It was always Louis’s favourite time of year. He and his dad were as close as two people got. Just like he and Harry were. He couldn’t think of a reason why he decided to finally bring someone to the bakery. It was always his and his dad’s place. But, Harry, he just made everything easier. Lou watched as his sisters skated around with Harry laughing and dancing and he loved the way they were all happy. At some point, while Lou was lost in his thoughts, Harry took a seat next to him. The two of them watched as Lottie and Fizzy helped the twins skate without stumbling and Harry smiled.

            “You did good, Lou.” And it felt good to be appreciated. Louis never asked for a thank you from anyone. Never asked for the gratification, but he did sacrifice a lot for his sisters and hearing that he didn’t fuck them up meant a lot to him.

            “Thanks, Hazza.”

            “And, if you ever want to talk about your dad or whatever, you know…I’m here.”

            “I know.”

            “You’re my best mate.”

            “Stop being a sap.” Louis chuckled and Harry just pushed him playfully and they laughed a little while longer until Jay called them inside. “Oh shit.”

            “What?”

            “It’s cookie time.”

            “What?”

            “Mum makes us make like six dozen cookies for the Christmas party every year.” The Tomlinsons hosted a Christmas party annually on the eve before which just so happened to be Louis’s birthday.

            “I’ll help any way I can.”

            “No need to kiss up, my mum loves you.”

            “Are you going to tell me she fancies me as well?” Harry said with a cheeky grin and Louis laughed and threw a snowball at Harry just before they walked in the door. He was laughing and he had crinkles underneath his eyes and Harry thought that if Louis ever looked at him that way again, he would explode.

-

            Jay had them right to work once they warmed up. They were covered in flour and whatever mess they had made because all of them would flick or throw ingredients at each other. Smiles were plastered to each of their faces as they stood in their assembly line. It went in order of youngest to oldest so they could all work together. Phoebe got the ingredients, Daisy brought them over, Fizzy put them in the correct bowls, Lottie mixed, Harry placed the dough on each pan, Louis placed the pan in the oven, and Jay took them out to cool. As they sat on the racks to cool before they could frost, Louis pulled out his guitar. He was playing old music—the kind that Harry liked best. Harry began to sing because Louis still refused even when he was around his family.

            Louis never knew Harry could sing like that. He thought he had an alright voice but he’d only heard him sing when they were in the car or messing around the dorm. He’d never heard how deep and powerful his voice really was. But as they sat in the small family room in front of a crackling fire and Harry was singing, Louis was stunned. He was amazed at how good his curly haired friend really was.

            “Didn’t know you had that in you, mate.” Louis said in awe after they had finished the song. Harry turned a sort of scarlet and just smiled at Louis before putting him on the spot. “Your turn.” But just then, Jay called from the kitchen saying it was time to frost the cookies. Louis smiled smugly at Harry who mouthed, “Next time.”

            They frosted the cookies into a bunch of different things. Some taking the shape of a Christmas tree or ornaments. Some were presents. Some candy canes, stars, or stockings. Harry decided to show off his baking skills and make each of the Tomlinsons onto their own cookies. They frosted until all two hundred cookies were completed and spectacular.

            Jay gave them each a hug and a kiss on the cheek before dismissing them. Louis and Harry each showered and retreated to the pullout couch where they slept together. It became a sort of normality during the last few days. In his sleep, Harry involuntary—although he didn’t quite mind it—snuggled in closely to Louis’s side and Louis’s arm pulled him impossibly closer.

-

            Harry went to get the record player while Lou was still asleep in the morning. He picked out a Joy Division record as well because it was just staring at him and mocking him and he couldn’t just not get it. He placed the Leeds tickets in an old necklace box that Jay let him have and wrapped that in blue wrapping paper with little cakes that said _Happy Birthday_ and then he wrapped the record and record player in Santa wrapping paper—both of them were embarrassingly awful but he decided that it wouldn’t get much better than it already was no matter how hard he tried.

            He was done before Louis had woken up so Jay sent Harry up the stairs to wake him. On the way up, Harry snuck one of the cupcakes for the party and stuck a candle in it and lit it. He stepped carefully up each step and into the room before singing Louis awake with an over the top version of ‘Happy Birthday’. When the sparkling, blue eyes opened, Harry said a gentle “Make a wish” and Louis did. He made a wish but wouldn’t tell Harry what it was because he wanted it to come true. Harry liked the little things like that. He liked the childish, superstitious side of Louis. When Lou went to bite into his cupcake, Harry smashed it into his face.

            “Arse.” Louis muttered.

            “Happy birthday, Tommo.” Harry took a picture on his phone—he wished his camera never broke because he had quite the knack for photography. “You—uh—you got a little something…” Harry chuckled as Louis tried wiping his face but kept missing the places that actually had frosting on it. He moved closer and copied Louis’s movements from last night as he dabbed his thumb on his tongue and wiped the icing off the older boy’s cheek. It was silent for a moment as they sat there, Harry’s hand not moving form Louis’s cheek.

            “Boobear, time for birthday breakfast!” Jay called. Louis’s cheeks turned a deeper shade of pink than Harry had ever seen them and Harry let his hand drop for Lou’s cheek when they both got up to go downstairs.

            “Boobear, huh?” Harry said trying not to laugh.

            “Nope.” Louis muttered. Harry let out a quiet laugh before smirking at him.

            “Happy Birthday,  _Boobear_.” Harry teased.

            “Shut up.”

            “Did Boobear like his cuppy-cake?” Louis whacked the back of Harry’s head but laughed as the two hopped down the steps.

            “Morning, Sweetums.” Jay said planting kisses all over Louis’s face.

            “Mum, I’m a bit too old for this.”

            “You’re never too old for mummy.” Louis rolled his eyes but placed a swift kiss to her forehead.

            Daisy set down a glass of orange juice next to the syrup that Phoebe brought for him and they both kissed a cheek. Louis looked back and forth between the two, blinking a few too many times, before speaking.

            “Are you teasing me? Set down the beverage and syrup but nothing to accompany it?” the twins giggle as he speaks and he ruffles the hair on their heads just as Lottie saunters into the room carrying a plate full of pancakes and Fizzy sets down the bacon and sausage next to it.

            “We made you chocolate chip ones, Lou.” Daisy squealed excitedly. Louis’s eyes lit up at the way she was so proud of making Louis’s favourite kind of pancakes. She knew he would love them and to be honest, they could have been covered in raspberries—which Louis was extremely allergic to—and he would have ate them just to see his baby sister smile like that.

            Harry liked the way Louis interacted with his family. He liked how much Louis cared for them and how he always teased them but made sure they knew he was only joking because even though Lou didn’t give a shit about school or his grades, he did give a shit about his family. Harry saw the way Louis instantly smiled when his sisters were in the room or how he always seemed to get up early and clean on the days Jay had work and he would cook dinner—more so Lottie but Louis did a hell of a job setting the table—and clean up afterwards. He was a softer, gentler Louis back here at the cottage and even though all the different Louis’ were great, this one seemed to stick as Harry’s favourite. It was better than football Louis and guitar-playing Louis and even the rustic-hasn’t-shaven-in-two-weeks Louis.

            Louis and Harry didn’t have much to do even though his mum and sisters were in a frenzy trying to get everything together for the Christmas/Lou’s birthday party tonight. They had tried to help but Jay refused because 1) It was Louis’s birthday and 2) Harry was a guest in her home and guests should never be doing work around a host’s house. She would settle for nothing other than the boys staying up in the bedroom all day—which Harry didn’t mind one bit. So there they sat, on the pullout couch, still in their pajamas, playing their third game of FIFA. Louis hated to admit it, but even though Harry was shit at real football, he beat Louis in FIFA four out of five times.

            “Wanna play again?” Harry asked a bit too smugly for Louis’s liking.

            “Yeah, why not. I’ve been going easy on you anyways.” Harry snorted and Lou rolled his eyes.

            “I’ll tell you what; I’ll go easy on you since it’s your birthday.” Harry said with a shit eating grin. Louis had just enough of Harry’s sass today.

            “I’ll beat you in real footie any day.”

            “Sure you will.” Louis had to wipe the grin off Harry’s face so he pounced on him. “Ow!” Harry had yelped as Louis landed on him, “Crushing-my-spleen-ow!” Harry rolled them over and had his arms on either side of Louis’s head, holding himself up and he just wanted to kiss him but he couldn’t. He couldn’t kiss him but his thin lips were so inviting. The two pushed apart when Fizzy walked in telling them to get dressed—and to at least have the decency to shut the door when they fooled around—and be ready before guests got there. Harry couldn’t stop thinking about how much he wanted to kiss Louis’s smooth lips. And he wondered if Louis wanted to kiss him too.

-

            Louis’s granddad was the first to arrive. He brought Louis a new television for his room. That’s when Harry realized that this was not Jay’s dad—it was his father’s father. Harry never thought much about the rest of Louis’s family. It was quite apparent that the telle Louis just received wasn’t cheap and it occurred to Harry that maybe Louis’s family was a bit wealthier than he’d expected. Louis wasn’t materialistic—he wore the same shirts over and over and the only really expensive things he had were his movies and video games. His car was a piece of shit that almost never started and Harry wondered why Louis didn’t get more.

            Lou opened the presents from his family first. His mum and sisters all got him movies, clothes, cd’s, cards, and homemade ornaments from the twins—small things like that. It wasn’t much but Louis loved them more than anything in the whole world. He had Daisy on his lap and his other sisters all around him and he was just happy.

            Granddad was nice. He liked Harry too. He thought that he was funny and he particularly enjoyed talking about different music. They were in a deep discussion about which Led Zeppelin album was the best—Harry claimed that it was Led Zeppelin IV but Granddad argued that it was In Through The Out Door—when Louis walked in.

            “Granddad, I need to borrow my dear Hazza for a moment.”

            “We are in a very serious discussion at the moment, Lou, it can wait.” Louis sighed and marched off which left Harry chuckling as he finished arguing with his mate’s grandfather.

            The party was really becoming larger by the second and new people kept on introducing themselves and asking him questions. Every time Harry tried to go and look for Louis, he’d been interrupted by something or someone. Especially Lottie who seemed to be following him around quite a bit this evening and Harry was starting to get the hint that she may have fancied him a tad bit.

            Louis had given up on the idea that Harry was looking for him and he really had no time to search for Harry himself because he only had a few days left in town before he had to go back to school which meant he only had a few days to see all these people. He really wanted to introduce his curly haired friend to everyone and anyone but he just couldn’t seem to find him anywhere. Zayn had shown up though. Lou’s best friend from childhood. He’d always had a sort of crush on Zayn. He’d gotten butterflies when they’d touch or he’d get nervous around him. Zayn was beautiful—it was an undeniable fact—but it was good to have him here. It was good to see him. Even though he was a year younger, the two had been inseparable for around ten years of Louis’s life. And if Harry wasn’t going to pay attention to him on his birthday, Zayn would.

            “How ya been mate?”

            “Good. Really good.”

            “How’s uni?”

            “Do you mean the classes because I don’t really go all that often.” Zayn chuckled and he shook his head.

            “Well I’ll be there next year and we’ll start crackin down on those books.” Louis had totally forgotten that Zayn was coming up to his school next year. He’d completely forgotten about Zayn if he was being totally honest. “Gotta fill out a dorm request so we can bunk.” And just then, before Louis had time to say that he already had a roommate and he was great and running around here somewhere, Harry came down the stairs and caught Louis’s eye from across the living room. He flashed his famous dimpled smile and walked over to them.

            Louis couldn’t help himself for smiling back when Harry slapped a strong arm around his shoulder and introduced himself.

            “Hello, I’m Harry. Lou’s roommate.” Louis’s cheeks blushed red because certainly he and Harry were more than just roommates, they were  _best_  mates and also because Zayn was standing there and he looked hurt and confused and Louis felt puzzled and awkward.

            “’m Zayn.”

            “Zayn’s, uh, Zayn’s my best mate since I was a kid.” Louis felt bold. Harry had only introduced himself as a roommate and also, Louis really hated the look of sadness in Zayn’s eyes.

            “Good to meet you.” Harry said with a smile and an extended hand that Zayn shook gently. Louis admired Harry’s charisma. He was just good with people. They liked him. He was polite and charming and could fancy the pants off anyone.

            “Oh, Lou, I almost forgot your present. Stay here. I’ll be right back. Don’t move!” Zayn said as he stepped out into the snowy outdoors with a bright smile.

            “He seems nice.”

            “He’s great.” Louis muttered. Harry knew that Lou was upset and he hated it so he rolled his eyes and scoffed at him. “What?” Louis questioned.

            “I didn’t mean anything by saying that we were roommates. We _are_  roommates, Lou. But we’re best mates too.” He smiled and Louis smiled back and they just kind of sat in silence for a minute.

            “I have your present as well but you can open Zayn’s first—he seems excited.”

            Zayn’s present was large and heavy. It was neatly wrapped with a fancy ass bow on top which Harry thought was quite unnecessary and way over the top. His present seemed to be perfect but Harry expected nothing less because Zayn was, well, perfect—in a way that made Harry sick. With his raven black hair that is sculpted into a perfect quiff and his perfectly slim body that was nothing like Harry’s awkwardly too-long limbs. Zayn was tall, lean, and tan with sharp cheekbones and a model like face. And Harry hated every bit of him. Well, Harry didn’t hate anybody but Zayn was not someone he was particularly fond of since he was trying to take Harry’s place as Lou’s best mate.

            Louis unwrapped the paper with a smile. Harry watched expectantly. His gift had to be better than Zayn’s. It just  _had_  to. Harry was shocked to see the newest gaming system.

            “That hasn’t even come out in stores yet!” Harry tried to hide the disappointment on his face as he spoke but he didn’t think he did a very good job of it.

            “My dad works for the company. I knew Lou would want it.” Zayn wrapped his arm around Louis’s shoulder and Harry shuddered. Harry knew that Louis had wanted that. Hell, every day Louis was talking about it. He was marking down the days and saving up the money for the time when it came out. He’d saved almost enough. Harry thought about buying it for Lou’s birthday but he just couldn’t afford it and he’d already gotten his gift anyways.

            Louis pulled Zayn into a hug that lasted a bit too long for Harry’s liking. Harry stood and watched awkwardly and angrily. Maybe if he wasn’t so cheap, he would still be Lou’s favourite.

            “Thanks, Z, this is awesome!” Zayn smiled and Harry’s heart plummeted to his stomach. “Now, Hazza, your turn.” Louis said with a charming smile. Harry didn’t want to give his crumby gift now. It was badly wrapped and it wasn’t the thing that Louis had been saving up for. He would hate it.

            “’s not as good.”

            “C’mon, Haz, you know me. I’m sure I’ll love it.”

            “I’m not so sure.”

            “Please?” And Harry couldn’t say no to that. He pulled the stupid box from his back pocket and handed it to Louis. He smiled at Louis softly and Louis gave him a reassuring grin as he pulled back the paper to reveal the old necklace box he had used to hold the wristbands. “Jewelry? Oh, sweetheart you shouldn’t have.” Louis teased and Zayn snickered a bit too loudly.

            “Oh, just open it you arse!” Harry said. Louis opened up the box and squinted his eyes to read the fine print. His face changed so much as he concluded what his present really was. His eyes kind of lit up in a weird way that made Harry proud.

            “Leeds?” Louis asked as if it could never be a possibility.

            “Leeds.” Harry confirmed.

            Before he knew it,  Louis was hugging him so tightly he couldn’t breathe.

            “When—how—did you get these?” Louis half shouted.

            “Remember when I said I was going to the Library last month?” Louis nodded.

            “You stood in that line alone?” Harry smiled with all his teeth and he was once again in Louis’s embrace. Harry opened his eyes for a second to smile smugly at Zayn’s defeated expression. Louis liked Harry’s present more. Louis liked Harry more. “Best birthday present I’ve ever gotten!” Harry’s heart swelled up with pride.

            A little while later, when Harry had lost Louis yet again, Lottie found him standing alone against the wall between the kitchen and living room.

            “Mistletoe.” She noted looking above the two of them. Harry panicked because how do you exactly tell someone who wants to kiss you that you don’t like girls? And worse yet, how do you tell them that you’re in love with their older brother? So he quickly excused himself to use the bathroom and darted in there locking the door behind him. He splashed a bit of water on his face and made it his mission to find Lou and tell him to tell his sister that he was not interested. When he returned, he searched the crowd of people for Louis who he eventually found—just where he and Lottie had been moments before—with Zayn. Before Harry could even stop anything from happening, the two boys were kissing. Harry felt his heart sink to his stomach.

            All those chances he had to kiss Louis and he didn’t because he thought Louis was straight—he and El were together all the time back at school and Louis always had nights out with his mates who were all straight and liked a good shag. But there he was, kissing this bloke. He was laughing when they pulled away. Harry darted upstairs.

            He couldn’t stop the stupid, hot tears that he hated from pouring down his face. He couldn’t stop the sobbing or shaking. He was curled uo in a ball with red cheeks from crying when Lottie walked in.

            “Harry?” She asked softly. He wiped his face and smiled.

            “Be out in a minute.” Instead of leaving, she sat down next to him.

            “Are you alright?”

            “I’m fine.” She sighed and ran her fingers through his hair. He was too upset to tell her to get the hint and that he didn’t like her—nor would he ever because try as he might, he doesn’t like girls.

            “You saw Lou and Zayn?” Harry stayed quiet. “You fancy Louis, yeah?”

            Harry thought he was good at hiding it and shocked that she knew but he just nodded; there was no use in trying to lie about it.

            “I figured.”

            “How—how did you know?”

            “Harry, my brother is gay; I know what the signs are. And, also, there is no other logical explanation as to why you didn’t want to kiss me.” she smiles gently and Harry even cracked a smile. He liked Lottie. She was funny and sweet. She had a way of making everyone feel comfortable and works hard to make sure everyone is alright. And Harry probably would have kissed her, if he liked girls. But that was just the problem, Harry didn’t like girls, he didn’t like anyone except for Louis.

            “I feel stupid.”

            “Don’t.”

            “He likes Zayn.”

            “He’s always liked Zayn. Since they were kids. The summer before he met you, before uni, they had a short fling. And Louis thought he was in love. But then Zayn got scared because Louis was going away and he didn’t want to get attached so he ended things. It’s all just past feelings, I’m sure of it.”

            “I don’t know.”

            “He’s never looked at Zayn the way he looks at you.” Lottie kissed his cheek and walked out—leaving him with a billion jumbled thoughts and a lipstick mark on his cheek.

-

            The party went on late but the twins were jumping on Harry and Louis—who still decided it was decent to sleep next to Harry after snogging another boy—bright and early at seven in the morning.

            “Go away.” Louis whined. He peeked his eyes open to see Daisy’s frowning face.

            “But, Lou, Santa came!” Louis couldn’t be mean to them. They had high spirits and it was Christmas. He’d miss their bright attitudes.

            “Grab one, Hazza.” He said with his husky morning voice that nearly had Harry going insane. They each wrapped a twin on their back like a monkey and raced downstairs.

            In the living room, the fire was going and Jay, Fizzy, and Lottie were seated close together on the couch. The boys placed the twins next to them and the two of them sat at the feet of the women on the ground.

            Harry liked watching everyone’s reactions to the gifts. Jay received jewelry and ‘Free Chore’ coupons. Lottie got a new phone and a few nice outfits. Fizzy got make up and a bunch of books. The twins got a karaoke machine and nail polishes along with new clothes. Louis got an air hockey table and a couple new knit sweaters. Harry felt bad that he only got Louis a present just as the Tomlinsons felt bad for not getting Harry anything.

            “Here, Lou, last one.” Jay said pushing Harry’s present towards Louis.  Lou looked over to Harry surprised as he read the tag with his name on it.

            “You already got me something.”

            “But that was for your birthday.” Louis smiled as he pulled the bow and Santa paper off. His eye got the same sparkled as last night. “Do you like it?”

            “I love it, Harry.” Harry returned Louis’s huge grin and gave him a thumbs up.

            “There’s more.” Louis peeled back the rest of the paper to reveal the record.

            “This is my favourite album.”

            “I couldn’t pass it up.”

            “Thank you, Hazza.”

            “Merry Christmas, Boobear.” Louis blushed.

            “Don’t think I forgot about you now, did you?” Harry smiled as Louis handed him the small box. He unwrapped it giddily—discarding the neat paper that Jay must have wrapped for him. When he opened it he found a professional Cannon camera.

            “Lou,” Harry loved it but it was simply too much. Too much money. Too much thought. Too much love.

            “Merry Christmas, Curly.” Louis said giving him a smile, his eyes crinkling.

            “How did you afford this?”

            “Used the money I was saving up.” Harry’s heart beat rose erratically. This was the ebst present he’d ever received.

            “Thanks, Lou.”

            “Course, Haz.”

            Christmas dinner was something of a feast at the Tomlinson’s. It was the best meal Harry had ever had in his entire life. Jay really was an outstanding cook.

            “This is delicious.”

            “Thanks, Sweetie.”

            “Thank you all for having me. You’ve all been so kind and welcoming. I feel like a part of the family.”

            “Love, you are considered family now.” Jay said with a sweet smile and she raised her glass. “Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight.” They all toasted to that and drank their beverages.

            “Happy Christmas.” Louis beamed at Harry in admiration. He had butterflies, the ones that only Zayn had ever given him only they were stronger this time. After the kiss last night, they had a laugh and talked about old times but that’s when Louis realized that he needed to move on from Zayn. It was an old flame, but the fire had burn out. Zayn was beautiful. He was perfectly sculpted—he could have been a distant cousin of a Greek god—but he wasn’t anything in comparison to Harry. Harry whose limbs were too long for the rest of his body and who tripped over his own two feet. Harry whose hair was always in disarray. And Zayn still had feelings for Louis but Louis didn’t still have feelings for Zayn.

-

            The last night at home was quiet and happy. They played some of the twins new board games and watched movies together. The goodbyes were hard but they’re never easy. Louis promised to visit soon and promised the girls he’d bring Harry along too.

            And then they were off. Back on the road.

            “Mum and the girls adore you.” Harry’s cheeks tinted pink. “Absolutely mental about you.”

            “I like them. They’re sweet.”

            “Did you have a good time?” He sure hoped so.

            “Beats dinner on the floor of the dorm watching reruns.” Louis frowned and harry poked at his cheek. “I’m just kidding. It was the best Christmas holiday I think I’ve ever had.” Louis beamed as he looked out the windshield. “Thank you. For taking me. It really meant a lot.”

            “You heard mum, you’re always welcome.” Harry smiled and Louis smiled back and they dove into a conversation about Niall’s New Year’s Eve party and from there they moved on to Leeds.

-

            Harry and Louis stayed together through most of the party. There were just too many people and honestly they were perfectly content just taking shots together. But at midnight, Liam, Niall, Harry, and Louis made a toast to each other. They’ve been best friends since their first year here. Then after the count down, they took a swig of champagne. Then it was back to just Haz and Lou. They were both well over tipsy and Harry was wobbling everywhere. He almost fell in the kitchen door way bit Louis caught him by the arm and pulled him back up.

            “Up you go, Hazza.” Louis slurred as he lifted him back up. And Harry had that urge to kiss him and he must’ve gotten lucky because they were under a mistletoe.

            “Mistletoe.” Harry whispered mimicking Lottie’s word from the night of the party.

            And he was kissing Louis and people were staring. Louis didn’t know what to think by he was drunk and Harry’s lips were warm. But when they pulled away and Harry started to slur words, Louis pulled him back to their dorm.

            Harry followed and sat down as Louis had instructed. He placed a cup of coffee in front of Harry as an attempt to sober him up.

            “Drink.”

            “Tryin ta get me drunk, Ou?” Harry smirked. Louis stared blankly at the ground unsure of what to say or do. This was all so wrong. Harry was his best friend. Harry was his everything. But he couldn’t lose that because of a kiss. That’s what had happened with he and Zayn. It couldn’t happen again. “Anted to kiss those lips for so ‘ong.”            

            “Harry, stop.” Louis begged. He couldn’t hear any of this. This wasn’t happening.

            “What? Didn’t you like that kiss?” He slurred. His voice was angry and Louis hated it. He never wanted to hear it again. Never wanted to hear the pain in Harry’s voice for as long as he lived. Why would Louis like kissing Zayn but not Harry? “You sure seemed to like kissing your little friend the other night.” Harry yelled. Louis’s jaw dropped. He’d hoped Harry hadn’t seen that. And worse yet—it hurt him.

            “Harry—“

            ‘No, I get it, Lou. Don’t waste your time. You can cuddle with someone else when your own bed is too cold.”

            “Harry-“

            “NO! Fuck. Leave me alone.” He stumbled off into his bedroom—knocking over his coffee on the way—and collapsed on his bed.

            Louis wiped the coffee off the floor made his way to the couch. He couldn’t sleep. Why wouldn’t Harry let him talk? He needed to explain that the reason he couldn’t do this was because he needed Harry to stay in his life forever. He needed Harry.

            Harry somehow managed to make it to the toilet to spill out the contents of his stomach. His vomiting woke Louis out of his thoughts and he rushed to to help by wiping Harry’s face but once Harry had enough energy to get up, he swatted Louis and walked passed him. “Don’t talk to me.”

-

            Harry hardly left his bedroom for the next  week. He ignored all of Louis’s attempt to talk. When Louis was at class—which Harry had been skipping (which was not at all Harry-like)—Liam stopped by. He somehow managed to make him open the door.

            “What’s goin on, Haz?”

            “Nothing.” One word answers were unlike Harry. He’d hoped that they weren’t here to get him to talk about Louis because he wouldn’t.

            “Okay, well, do you fancy going out tonight?” Harry thought about it and decided that if Louis wouldn’t be there, maybe it’d be a good idea.

            “Just me and you?”

            “And Ni.”

            “Okay.”

            “Really!?” Liam seemed relieved and much too excited but Harry just mustered up a large smile and closed the door as Liam walked away. “Ready by eight!”

-

            Harry was ready at 7:15, he was wondering why Lou hadn’t come home after his Music History class—which ended at 6:30—not that Harry cared, he and Lou weren’t speaking. Although, it would be nice to show Louis that he was alright without him. It had been a week. Harry stayed in bed. He didn’t come out of his room at all unless Louis was at class—or making out with random strangers who were clearly better than Harry.

            Liam showed up with Niall a bit before eight and they made their way to the pub;. It was almost empty. Harry noticed a sign that said open mic night. Why were LI and Ni bringing him to an empty pub for an open mic night?

            “Let’s get a table over there.” Niall pointed to a tall round table and they walked towards it slowly. They each took a seat and Niall ordered Irish Nachos—chips covered in cheese and chili, sour cream, and chives—and Harry was antsy once Niall got nearly halfway through them.

            “Liam, why did you bring me to an empty pub?”

            “There’s people here.” More people had shown up but it was not the regular crowd Harry normally saw when he went out.

            “Li,”

            “I just needed to get you out of your room. You’ve been locked in there for however long.”

            A few acts had gone and he wanted desperately to go back to the dorm and watch movies on his computer under the covers. He’d have to remember to ask Liam to stop at the store so he can pick up some snacks. He was reading the signs on the walls when he heard the sweet raspy voice he’d been missing for a week.

            “I’m Louis.” Harry’s head shot up and he saw him. Sitting on a stool under the lights with a maroon beanie perched on his head of messy hair. He had stubble and wore his glasses over tired eyes. Behind the guitar resting on his knees, Harry spotted the reindeer jumper. Harry was having a hard time understanding why his friends would bring him here to make him hurt more.

            “Liam, I want to go home.”

            “Just stay.”

            “No,” Harry went to lift himself out of the chair to walk out but Niall pushed him back down.

            “This isn’t something I usually do—I don’t sing in front of people—but someone who means a lot to me told me I should.” Louis continued, “I’m sorry. I messed up. I hope this song will help him forgive me.”

            And then he was playing the chords to a song that warmed Harry’s heart and made him stop fighting Niall.

_I’ve just seen a face,_

_I can’t forget the time or place_

_That we’d just met, she’s just the girl for me_

_And I want all the world to see we’ve met_

_Na na na na na na_

_Had it been another day_

_I might have looked the other way_

_But I had never been aware_

_And as it is I dream of her tonight_

_Na na na na na na_

            Louis’s voice was more beautiful than harry could have imagined. And he was smiling as he remembered the warmth of the kitchen that morning from the skillet or the dancing or the sun shining in the window. It reminded him of cuddling before bed and of the day at the bakery, it reminded him of the pride he felt when Louis loved his presents and of them talking as they sat on the ice pond looking at all the trees lit up. It reminded him of their first day together when they plastered the dorm walls in posters.

            When the song ended, Harry’s smile stretched wide. He was nervous—he didn’t know what this meant—and he just wanted to kiss Louis and have Louis kiss him and then have him sing some more.

            “Go!” Liam and Niall laughed as he sat staring at the now empty stage. Harry jumped up and started for the door but spun around on his heels to give each of them a hug.

            “Thank you!”

            “GO!” they laughed again and Harry darted out the door.

            Harry expected him to be standing in the alley behind the pub but he wasn’t. after a few minutes, he started to run. He stumbled over his too-long legs and overly large feet until he finally stumbled into the dorm.

            “Lou?” Harry checked each room but came up empty. “Louis?”

            He wasn’t answering and it drove Harry nuts. Was this a joke?

            The door opened and shut quietly and Harry turned around slowly. Louis was standing in the doorway staring at his scuffed shoes.

            “I wanted to give you time to think.” He said quietly.

            “I don’t need time.” Harry moved closer a few steps and Louis looked up.

            “It’s not that I didn’t want to kiss you—uh—because—um—like, I really liked it, I just—uh—I was scared. I need you. I need you forever. And relationships always ruin it. But, you, you’re worth the risk.”

            “If you want to kiss me, then kiss me.” Louis took a step forward and leaned up to meet Harry’s pink lips. They were soft and sweet and warm and perfect.

            They pulled away after forever, both gasping for breath. When Louis caught his breath, he smiled,

            “For the record, you’re a much better kisser than Zayn.” Harry laughed and pulled Louis in for another kiss.

            “If I told you I loved you would It change this?”

            “No.”

            “I love you, Louis.”

            “And I love you, Harry.”

            There they sat, in their tiny little dorm kissing and loving each other and sometimes Louis sang and Harry’s never been so happy. 


End file.
